Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Breathe on me - A story of God's faithfulness

 Have you ever had a dream , a dream close to your heart, a dream close to what you know is God's call on your life, a dream that feel is too big and just "like a dream"? I have been there. I lived in the shadow of a dream for over a decade. I had  prophetic confirmations I needed many times over to take that leap of faith . And yet, I lacked the confidence to take those steps of faith in spite of knowing I had a BIG God backing me and giving me His approval. I made feeble attempts at accomplishing that dream and felt I could not do it on my own. There were some friends who encouraged me to step into making the dream a reality.  So I sought the help of other people I thought could help and had a similar vision. But it did not materialize and I was left hanging, waiting for this dream to take shape.I landed up getting frustrated, disappointed and buried that dream in despair thinking I had got it all wrong.  The Bible says "Hope differed makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is like a tree of life " Prov 13:12. I was in this place with regards to this dream for many years and I did not know how to get out of it and then came a stage when I couldn't care.

But , the ever faithful God who does not give up on us or our dreams in his great love pursued me patiently. HE who is the author of that dream was not willing for it to die without bearing some fruit. 

Last year in February we attended a 3 day conference for Church Leaders. It was there that I had the most significant coffee conversation  yet. The lady whom I was chatting with, out of the blue asked me if I wrote songs. I thought the sky would fall on my head. I was shocked as the question was prying the nails I had banged hard and strong in that coffin. I could not run from what I knew was the Lord wanting to take off the grave clothes and bring back to life that which was deeply buried. I sheepishly answered in the affirmative and said I had tried everything , tried getting help in vain and that I had reached the end of myself and any inspiration. She felt I should not give up and try new doors. The Coffee break ended and we assembled for another session. 

The session was on taking responsibility for what happens in our lives and not giving into a hostage mentality or a victim mentality. The speaker gave us a moment to share with each other. This friend shot out of her chair and came straight to me and said "GOD IS SPEAKING , IS N"T HE?". Heaven was using a megaphone. I knew I was cornered by the Living God himself. I felt the Holy Spirit  work deeply in me. I felt deep conviction for giving in to satan's lie and giving into a victim mentality. I went through deep repentance. I was overwhelmed at how much God was interested in this dream, this gift seeing the light of day.

I resolved to make another attempt and push every door for help that I could possibly think of . 

I prayed  a desperate  prayer asking the Lord Jesus to breath a fresh on me, to anoint me for what He want me to do,not to give up till the end of my days, to be faithful with every gift He has given me so that when He comes again He will see that I have multiplied what He has given me.

That prayer  became my first song - the first of this dream , this gift coming out into the open. I titled it "Breathe on me". Since then , there has been an overwhelming flow of new songs, that has  even take me by surprise. My book is full of lyrics leaping out of the pages waiting to be sung.
I look back at the last year and am amazed at God's  faithfulness. As I took those steps of faith, the lyrics fell into place, fresh tunes flooded my mind, new doors of help opened up that only encouraged and guided me so well. 
I have walked with the Lord for nearly 4 decades and there are so many lessons to learn and so many life patterns to unlearn. I am grateful that He is the author of my life and He will finish what He has started in me. He will not give up. And all I can say is " To love and serve You is the greatest thing, To love and serve You, Jesus my King"
Here is the link to the song. Be blessed as you listen to it. Share it freely.



Navaz