Friends @ Home - Hospitality

Friends @Home : A Study on hospitality
This is an extract from a set of Bible Studies I had written for women a few years ago. I do hope you will be blessed as you read and ponder on this. Much of the material here has also been taken from a sermon my husband, Colin, preached a few years back.

A few days ago I came across an article in the newspaper that spoke of a modern trend amongst the “yuppy crowd” of our cities – that of no longer offer hospitality in their homes but prefer entertaining people in restaurants to avoid the “mess and work and clear up” that is involved when you have friends over. I mulled over this article and thought to myself about how much we are moving away from anything that disturbs our comforts zone and anything that we see as threatening our private space. What should the Christian response be? Am I against eating out, or talking friends out for a meal? Far from it. But when there is a trend that does not want to have people in our homes because it is seen as being a pain rather than a blessing, I think we need to go back to the plumb line and adjust our thinking: the plumb line is the word of God.

As a home maker what should my attitude be toward hospitality, toward having people over? 

One of the functions of a God glorifying home of Christians is providing Hospitality.  

Q. Are we willing to open up our homes to hospitality? When our husbands want us to have people over for tea, or a meal are we reluctant or responsive?

Hospitality is a practice that God has honoured and commanded.

Rom 12:13 “Practice hospitality, practice hospitality”.

Gen 18:3 “Let me get you something to eat so you can be refreshed..”

Prov 11:25 “He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed”

What was Jesus’ attitude to such mundane things as a home and food?

Mark 6:37-But he answered, “you give them something to eat”

 Mark 14:3-“ While  he was in Bethany, reclining at the table in the home of a man known as Simon the Leper..”

What was the early church like?

Acts 2:46- “They broke bread in their homes.”

In 1 Tim 3:1-7 Paul lists the qualification of elders and church pastors.
“. Now the overseer is to be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, and able to teach…”

In 1 Tim 5:9, 10 Paul lists out the character qualities of a godly widow who is eligible to be put on the widow’s list and being hospitable is one of them.

In 1 Pet 4:7-9 Peter begins by saying “⁷The end of all things is near. ⁹Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. ¹⁰ Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others.”

The word hospitality is “philo xenos”. We know that philo is one of the greek words for “love”.

What does “xenos” mean? We get our English word “xenophobia” from it. – Fear of strangers.

Xenos is greek for “stranger”

So “philoxenos” is literally a lover of strangers.

There are several examples of people who excelled in hospitality in the early church viz Martha, Peter’s mother in law, Aquilla and Priscilla, Lydia to name a few.

Q. Is hospitality the same as entertaining?

In hospitality, the focus is on the fellowship and not on food. It is about keeping an open home where people feel welcomed. It may be that all you offer is a cup of tea or a light snack, or a simple “Dal and rice” for a meal. When you do this your home becomes a beacon for the Lord.  Keeping the meal simple  helps not to put a strain on ones finances and then one can do it more often than one large banquet done once a year. If you put up a big meal, people may feel fearful about inviting you over as they feel they may not be able to meet your standard. Also don’t busy yourself in the kitchen preparing or clearing up that your friends are left to entertain themselves with you absent most of the time.

Q. Who can be hospitable? ANYONE. You don’t need to be married or own a big home in order to be hospitable. Our experience has been the ones with small homes and incomes have been the most hospitable. I know a family of 5 that lived in a one room and kitchen home but had more people in their home for a meal than most people I know.

Q.What are some of the ways a single person can be hospitable? What about bachelors or spinsters?

We should aim to make hospitality a lifestyle and a family affair. Involve the children and get them excited about the prospect of having visitors over. In doing so you will train your children to be outgoing and friendly and welcoming to people who visit your home.

To be sure, every family needs privacy. However, today the trend is towards individualism and self comfort. This is not biblical. Many people, even Christians want to live in luxury and to live undisturbed by anyone. They offer no invitation to others and will not take the trouble to cook even a simple meal for someone.

Hospitality is one of the ways love is demonstrated amongst believers and members of a church, especially toward new comers to the church. Statistics show that if a new person makes 5-7 friends in a church, he/she is more likely to stay on.

If you find yourself struggling in this area ask the Holy Spirit to help you. Ask Him to pour love in your heart for your brothers and sisters in the Lord. All our acts of service should be motivated by faith and love or else they will be a dead works for which there is no reward.

Take some practical steps to help you get into a new groove. Call up people and fix a date for when you can have them over. This ensures commitment on your part and theirs rather than leaving it vague and to chance.

Reflections:

Q. Think for a moment about your own attitude toward hospitality-

 Are you open to having people in your home or are you reluctant and see them as an intrusion?

Q. When was the last time you had people from the church over to your home for a meal?

Q. Do you find hospitality difficult? If so, what are the factors that are hindering you and how can you overcome them?

Q. Spend a minute to consider who you can invite to your home in the next month and write down some names here. Then make it a point to call them up within the next few days after you have discussed it with your husband ( if your are married).

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Hebrews 13 urges us to follow the example of the ancients who emphasized hospitality and because of it sometimes unknowingly welcomed angels into their homes. The reference is undoubtedly to Abraham and Lot entertaining strangers and later discovering them to be angels (Gen 18).

Q. Who do you invite to your home ? Be careful of only inviting “your type” of people viz ethnic group, language group, economic status, marital status etc. We are encouraged to be hospitable to all.

Remember what Jesus says: In Mt 25:31 onwards -³¹ "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. ³² All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. ³³ He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.³⁴ "Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. ³⁵ For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, ³⁶ I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

So with these thoughts in mind let us motivate ourselves to becoming more hospitable.. Jesus offers a kingdom to those who have been hospitable.  Wow – what a reward!

 Navaz D Cruz

Some quiet thoughts : Reflections: Perspective

Some quiet thoughts : Reflections: Perspective: "'To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest criti..."

DEVOTION

DEVOTION

“Love the Lord your God with all your mind, and with all your soul, and with all your strength” ( Luke 10:27) . In this New Year I have been drawn to reflect upon this verse and other similar passages in scripture. This is the greatest commandment of all time and I feel the most challenging to follow. 

After the Fall, we are by nature bent towards loving everything else. Everything is fighting for our attention and devotion over our love and devotion to God – the maker of us all. I have found that Satan will use anything and everything to keep us from being devoted to God. Devotion to anything or anyone else more than God is idolatry.

But what does devotion mean? The word is usually used to mean ardent love, single mindedness, focus, strong attachment, allegiance etc.

The question I ask myself is: Do I love God in this way? Am I single minded about Him. Is He first in my life? Is His will for my life important to me to the point where if I had to choose, the choice would be clear?

Different ones of us will be tested for our devotion in different areas of our lives viz., jobs, studies, self absorption, pleasure, friends etc.

The distractions are subtle. They do not announce themselves with two horns and a tail. They might even be “good” things. It would be wise to remember that even the devil can masquerade himself as an angel of light to deceive us. This gives us more reason to be devoted to the Lord and reading His word – then we will be able to discern the counterfeit from the consecrated. We need to always pray like the psalmist that we may keep His word hidden in our hearts that we might not sin against Him.(Psalm 119:11)

For those of us who have been Christians for a long time this means I do not slacken my pace or let my zeal die down. Its means not giving up on doing good nor taking a back seat. I need to guard my heart from becoming callous and lukewarm toward the things of God. I should check the danger of becoming over familiar with a Holy God who will not tolerate sin but who desires to change me from one degree of glory to another. I need to beware of “having a form of godliness yet denying its power” in my life. I need to be careful that I do not go through the motion of things viz attending church meetings without expecting to meet with God and it becomes a “have to” chore rather than a “want to” desire.

 As I reflect and ponder on these things I ask myself what I can do in order to stay dogged in my devotion.

• ·       I need to recognize those things that take me away from being devoted to God and be ruthless with them just as God asked the Israelites to be ruthless with the idols erected to foreign Gods.

• ·       What can I do to get back to a heart of devotion and worship?

• ·       What can I do to value the body of Christ more (which is expressed in the local church to which I belong). How can I love and serve her just as Christ  ( who laid down His very life for her)

• ·       What can I do to keep God top in my priorities in how I organize my time.

• ·       What can I do to grow spiritually  viz : Books I could read, prayer/house group meeting I could regularly attend,  improve my spiritual disciplines like reading my Bible, prayer, meditation, fasting etc.

How I spend my time is a good indicator of what’s going on in my heart and what I am devoted to. It’s as simple as that. 

Thank God His grace which gives me the time and the ability to change. The Lord is compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love ( Num. 14:18). He woos me back to Himself. He began a good work in me will bring it to completion ( Phil 1:6). I don’t need to struggle on my own. Thank God for  the means of grace in Christian fellowship  where I can get fellow brothers and sisters’ to pray for me and where I can make myself appropriately accountable.

As I reflect upon this and repent for straying away, the ever faithful God will forgive me, revive my spirit and restore to me the joy of my salvation.

Here is a song I wrote as a prayer reflecting some of these thoughts.

Navaz D Cruz In everything

The Success of passing it on : a Vision for Values

“ Above all else guard your heart, for it is the well spring of life” Prov. 4:23

Many times I look around and say to myself, what  in the world has changed? Is the change just all these myriads of gizmos flying around that we are all desperately trying to keep with? Is it just that the work culture has changed and so people don’t value what was valued a couple of decades ago? Is money really all that scarce that people work 14 hours a day and drive home exhausted in their BMWs not wanting to interact with a family deeply neglected? Have we moved away from the basics of  God first, family and then work order of priorities so much , and feel that we can  still sustain an equilibrium in society?

I believe we have a responsibility of passing the baton on well to the next generation : the baton of our beliefs and values that are timeless , not fickle or faddish but eternal. 


As I write I am thinking of my own children – one still a child and the other a man-child in his teens. There is so much for them to integrate into their hearts, their spirits and character – some of it needs to be taught, some caught, some by mere osmosis of being in the right surroundings. And I pray and hope that I will do this job well in my own children first .

There is a whole generation looking for role models and heroes. Will we give it to them? Or will they turn to insipid, immoral TV stars or greed filled business magnets? They are trying to suss out what life style they want. There is so much grabbing their attention out there – am I providing an attractive alternative – no not an alternative – am I living the abundant life in Christ in such a way that makes them realize there is no better “other” way.

The  "passing on " does  not happen overnight – it happens as we talk about the Lord Jesus and Kingdom principles : as we sit, as we walk, when we lie down. It’s a lifestyle – not something you wear on a Sunday morning and take off Sunday afternoon. Are we giving them a vision and passion for the Christian life? Several things come to mind and you can add to this list. 

So here’s what I am thinking :

GOD :  In a world that questions His very existence do I communicate the truth about who He is ? Do I help them cultivate a relationship with him that is not dependent on us as parents? Do I help them grow in faith? Do I teach them the scriptures and show them how to hide it in their hearts and call it to mind when guidance, comfort or strength is needed? Do I teach them to worship the Lord with all their heart, mind soul and strength? Do I teach them how to defend and share their faith? Do I give them the reason for the HOPE to which they have been called?

Do I teach them from a young age to serve in the church and give their talents to glory God first  and not leftovers ?

Education: This is a BIG one in my country. It is a God. This is a very important part of a student’s life however it is only a part and not the whole of their life.

Do I  teach my kids the principle of excellence – of doing whatever they do with all their might as unto the Lord ?

Do I teach them that it’s not winning and succeeding at all costs but that the means is as important as the method. So while others have learnt not share information or share their class work,  do I train our kids to be the opposite – to help the weaker ones, to be kind and giving.

Do I teach them to Seek first the kingdom of God and then everything will be added to them ? Do I give them opportunities to put this in practice and stretch their faith? Or do I pay lip service to this and on exam weeks allow them to skip church? In their Final year of school , college do I encourage them to work their study routine around their faith and church life ?

These are only a few thoughts, the list can go on.

 Life skills : Do I teach them the importance of keeping their word whether it is doing something they said they would do, or being on time to some place, or returning something they borrowed.

Do I teach them how to be trust worthy and honest in their friendships? Do I teach them to be compassionate and giving and not use people for their own purposes?

Do I teach them to conduct themselves with modesty , purity and humility . Do I teach them to look out for the less fortunate. Do I teach them to be fair minded and not prejudiced?  Do I teach them to keep their head and heart when everybody else is losing it – and to stand for what they believe in the face of peer pressure? 

Do I pass on the WHY of the belief and not just the practice which can so easily be reduced to a set of rules to be obeyed. Ah !! there is so much to give our children and enrich their lives other than a college degree.

 In order that they live this Christian life to the full with no compromise they need the Holy Spirit burning in their hearts so that they can be the Daniels , Joshua’s and Moses of today. And it is my prayer that they will learn to walk by the Spirit so that they will reap the fruit of the Holy Spirit in their lives. I do not wish for anything more than this for them. I know that if they have this, the rest will follow, not because of anything other than this : God is faithful to His word. When we trust in Him and put Him first , He does come through for us ( even when we are faithless as times). He said He will never leave us not forsake us and when we put our trust in Him, He will NEVER put us to shame. My confidence comes from  putting my trust in the Word of God.

 ²⁴ By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh’s daughter. ²⁵ He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. ²⁶ He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward”

Heb 11:24-25.

SO my prayer is that I will be faithful in running this race well and passing on the baton to a generation that is waiting to take it.

I end with a song I wrote as a prayer. You can listen to it by clicking here

Breathe on me breath of God, fill me with life anew

And help me live this life, devoted to you

Breathe on me breath of God

Cleanse me from deep within

Give me a pure heart and keep me from all sin

Breathe on … me

Chorus

Touch my mind my heart and will

Breathe on me O God

Touch my mind my heart and will

Until I’m completely yours

Breathe on me breath of God; fill me with your power

To go into the world and tell of a Saviour

Breathe on me breath of God

Until my life is done

Help me to run this race bringing glory to your Son

Breathe on me

Bridge

To love you and serve you Is the greatest thing

To love you and serve you Jesus my King

 Navaz D’Cruz.

Reflections on Serving

REFLECTIONS ON SERVING

"the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Matt 20:28

Over the past few months I have found myself thinking about this a lot. What is it to really serve as Jesus did - in thought, heart, action, and motive? No doubt the greatest model of servant hood and servant leadership is found in our Lord Jesus alone. He is the best role model we can ever have. He also knew that in laying down his life, many sons would be raised to glory. So what can I learn? Here are a few thoughts I have been pondering upon and are by no means exhaustive.

•  Everything Jesus did, He firstly did to please his father in heaven and bring Him glory.  

So I ask myself : when I serve, who gets the glory? Is my motive that of pleasing God or drawing attentions to myself, to win the approval of others, to win the praises of men, to promote myself? It’s good to stop and do a reality check here rather than find everything has been burnt up on the day of reckoning and I escape by the skin of my teeth.

• He served in humility knowing He was loved by the Father. He did not serve in a condescending manner. Nor did He serve to gain the Father's approval.

So I ask myself : Do I serve to get the attention of those above me or to gain their approval and a few brownie points?

• He served knowing the people would be ungrateful eg) of the ten lepers only one returned to give thanks. He did not serve so that people would publically acknowledge Him and thank Him. He served out of love and compassion and not out of duty and compulsion.

So I ask myself: How do I react when I do not get acknowledged or thanked for all my hard work and effort?

• He served not wanting position or recognition He slipped away in the crowds when they wanted to hail Him, King. He washed the feet of the disciples taking on the very form of a slave. He did not go through an identity crisis.

So I ask myself When I serve am I willing to serve with the same fever and zeal behind a closed door where no one sees me, nobody BIG notices? Am I willing to serve in the background without a title my name? Sometimes it is easy to serve as the one “in charge" with the title and recognition. But the rubber hits the road when I have no title no position when I have to play second fiddle to someone else and I am not the Piper calling the tune. Can I then serve with equal fervor and devotion as unto the Lord?

• He did not look out for his own interest - in fact, He laid down His life for his friends. He fed the 5000 thousand in spite of being worn out and tired. He put their needs before His own. In a world that teaches promoting the power of number UNO over community and others ,how do we handle Jesus’ teaching which is to love your neighbor as yourself and be your brother’s keeper?

So I ask myself :A m I absorbed in manipulating people, conversations, situations so that  I appear good and even better than others? Do I pass subtle hints of how better and how gifted I am? Am I large hearted towards others in wanting to see them grow, help them to grow and use their gifts or do I subtly put others down or refuse to acknowledge them or make room for them lest my position gets threatened? Am I willing for others to supersede me and go beyond where I will ever go?  Jesus told his disciples that they would do greater things than what he did. He wanted that for them. Do we have a large heart and a generous spirit? Remember everything we do and think is being watched by our Father in heaven and one day He will come to reward and judge us. How will we stand on that day?

Do others flourish under our care or are they stifled and only allowed to grow up to a point that does not threaten my position? This is a big snare in this generation and in our culture.

We are of a Kingdom that is not of this world and is not governed by its value systems. We march to a different drum beat. We are strangers and aliens on this earth. The world says grab – God’s way is to give.  The world says be the boss – God’s way is to serve. The world says look after number one – God’s way is to look out for others interests. The world says promote yourself –  God’s way is to  not think more highly of yourself than you ought to.

When we begin to live like this the Lords Kingdom will come on earth as it is in heaven and Jesus will reward with crowns that will not spoil or fade. We must live with Eternity in our hearts – then the temporary fortunes and fame and name will not ensnare us. We will be free to serve without strings attached – free to serve not enslaved by sinful desires but as servants of the MOST HIGH GOD!!.

Navaz D’Cruz